Fifty Shades Of Stupid - The Bitchin Celeb

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The year was 1990 and I was a Junior in high school.  I lived in Marshalltown, IA at the time and I had recently gotten my drivers license.  Marshalltown was a small town, population around 30,000.  Okay, not too small, but a lot different than St. Louis.

My bitchin ride at the time was a 1983 Chevy Celebrity.  Man...that was a sweet ride.  My good friend and I Jenny were driving down Main Street doing who knows what.  Probably getting something to eat.  For what ever reason this is the conversation that then took place. 

(I was driving and wanting to "stir" things up)

Me:  How about we try something different?  I wanna try something.  

Jenny:  What do you mean?

Me:  I will control the steering wheel with my hands and you control the petals with your feet.  Then...wait for it...I will stick both my feet out the window.  

Jenny:  NO!  giggling  Why do you even want to do that?

Me:  It will make people wonder how I am driving.  Come on.  It will be fun.  

(After quite a bit of discussing)

Jenny:  Okay, lets do it!! 

Both of us are laughing like idiots.  

So now we are driving down Main Street of Marshalltown during the middle of the afternoon with both of my legs sticking out the window and I notice a police car.  

Me:  $H!T!!!!!  COP!!!!And I am sure a few other choice words were yelled.  

I honestly cannot remember what Jenny said or did but I am sure it wasn't pretty.  All I know is I hauled ass to bring my feet back in the car, so we would not get pulled over.  

Next thing I know the windshield wipers were on but we were in the clear.  Jenny and I were laughing SO HARD!!!  Trying to shut the wipers off I realize I couldn't.  I realize I must have broke the handle off from the force of bringing my legs into the car.  REALLY?  REALLY?  My only thought was, "There is no way I can hide them from my parents now!"  

So...from that day on the wipers would constantly run.  The only way to turn them on or off was to take the fuse out.  

Ah...good times in the Celeb.